Tanner stood in front his gathered friends, and took a deep breath.
“Now, I know you all came to hear my words of wisdom,” Tanner began, and a few people applauded. “But here’s the thing. You all suck.”
There was astounded silence. Tanner continued.
“You’re terrible people. I don’t like most of. In fact, the majority of you are such duffers, such nincompoops, that I don’t want anything further to do with you. I didn’t even invite you to this little event, and still you show up? What the hell is that about?”
People were starting to whisper to each other now, and Tanner talked over it.
“As a matter of fact, most of you are so thick, you couldn’t even be bothered to see that when I made this event, it was private, and specifically asked you not to come! Even those invited weren’t supposed to come, but did you read? No, because you’re idiots, the lot. So get the hell out of my apartment, and don’t come back.”
People continued to murmur to each other, but one-by-one they stood, put on their shoes and coats, and left. Tanner stood at his podium with his arms folded, watching as each one left. When the last person closed the door, he walked over and locked it.