A Speech Transcribed

My friends. Here lies Kathy.

She lived her life as she lived her death. With gusto.

All who remember Kathy know she loved, and loved beautifully. She could be so pretty, when she wasn’t being a total bitch.

And when she was pretty, my god was she pretty. Right? Jimmy, her son who survives her, you know what I’m talking about. Milf, am I right Jimmy? Jimmy’s nodding, he knows.

Kathy, we hope that, wherever you are, be it above or below, you’re enjoying yourself. And everyone else is, too, ha!

What’s that? I’m sorry, just a few more words. No, I won’t. Hey, get your ha – ROT IN HELL KATHY!

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