Sometimes you can prepare for it, but sometimes Halloween just sneaks right up on you. Like some kind of monster in the dark, coming at you when you least expect it.
That’s what happened to me. I was walking down the street, when all of a sudden I was surrounded by sexy nurses, sexy Frankensteins, sexy Barbs from that show. Little eight year olds dressed as sexy pirates is the weirdest and creepiest thing. Like, what the fuck?
Anyway, I didn’t know it was Halloween. I thought it was just people being crazy or something. Or maybe one of those parties leading up to Halloween. But here it was, October 31st, and I was supposed to be all in costume for school because everyone’s in costume for school and I would be a total spoil sport for not being in costume for school.
Lucky for me, there were still leaves on the ground. So I picked a bunch up and stuffed them in the neck of my shirt, and voila: post-modern scarecrow.
Some people thought it was clever. Some people thought it was bad. But I won most original costume. Everyone else can go blow themselves, I’m a Halloween ninja.