Computer Repair

The screen read clearly: Unable to detect service.

“What?” Ashley said. “What do you mean, unable to detect service?” She looked down at the keyboard, willing it to answer her. The laptop was silent.

She looked back to the screen and started clicking on the wifi status icon. It continued to tell her it was unable to detect service. She cursed at it a few times, then picked up her phone and started searching.

After twenty minutes with no success, she finally called the service line.

“Services, this is John, how can I help you?”

“Yeah, I just bought a computer about two months ago, and it’s telling me it’s unable to detect wireless service.”

“Huh, that’s strange. Can you give me the serial number for your computer?”

“Eight-two-two-three-seven-six-B-seven-A-M-three,” she read from the form in front of her.

“Okay, just one moment. Hmm, it looks like your computer is no longer under warranty, so if you’d like to get it serviced, there will be a fifty dollar charge, plus any expenses such as replacing the wireless device.”

“What the hell? I just bought this two months ago.”

“Yes, I see that,” the voice on the other send, “but you didn’t buy our extended care service. We only guarantee them for thirty days, and then only for manufacturers defects. You probably spilled a drink on it or something.”

“Nope. In fact, in doing a search for this previously, it seems that a lot of people have this issue. Like, it has an entire website dedicated to it.”

“Oh, you did a search online? That would actually void the warranty anyway.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, searching for that voids the warranty, as it might negatively impact our search rankings. It’s all in the warranty document included with the computer.”

“You mean that four hundred page pdf buried in the ‘extra’s menu?”

“That’s the one.”

“What the fuck?”

“Sorry ma’am. Now, if you’d like to continue this call, it will cost a dollar fifty per minute, charged to your account.”

“No thank you, I’ll not be buying anything from you guys again.”

“It’s okay, we still have our fanboys.”

“Fuck off.”

Ashley hung up, then started searching for nearby repair places.



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