The Thing You Need To Know

“So I totally know more than the rest of you about penguins. Penguins are awesome. There are eighteen different species of penguin. They stand between one and five feet tall, and – ”

“Excuse me, Ursula? Penguins all live south of the equator.”

“Yes, I was getting to that, Shayne, thank you.”

“Yeah, but the thing you need to understand is that the only penguins north of the equator are in zoos. Like, they never live above that line.”

“Umm, Shayne, this is my presentation.”

“I know, but you’re leaving stuff out.”

“I only just star- ”

“Like how penguins mainly eat fish, and don’t fly, and in fact are excellent swimmers. They spend a lot of time in the water, and I don’t think you get quite how much.”

“Shayne, I’m trying to do my presentation here.”

“Okay, but these are important things, and I don’t think you quite understand them.”

“I do, Shayne.”

“Then why haven’t you explained them yet, Ursula?”

“Because, as I said, I only just started the presentation. If you would let me continue – ”

“Will you talk about how the fathers look after the eggs in the winter? Or how they trade halfway through? What about – ”

“YES, SHAYNE, THANK YOU.”

“Geez, no need to get so PMS-y.”

 

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