Give Me Your Manager

Kurt picked up the phone and dialed.

“Good morning, this is Angela with Orchestra Services, how can I help you?” came the voice on the other end.

“Hi there, I want to renew my subscription for next year,” Kurt said.

“Sure, I can help you with that. Do you have a patron number?”

“Not on hand,” Kurt waved his own hand. “My name is Kurt.”

“Okay, can I have your last name?”

“Why do you need that?” Kurt demanded.

“So that we can – ” Angela began.

“I don’t want to share private information, it’s personal,” Kurt said.

“Sir, I can’t find you without your last name. We have numerous Kurts in our system. My search brings up eighty-nine. I need your last name to get the right patron, so you can get your tickets.”

Kurt sighed. “Fine. It’s Gaither.”

“Thank you sir, one moment while – ”

“I want a subscription to next year, and I’ll pay twenty-five dollars and seventy-two cents.”

“Sir, subscriptions start at two hundred and thirty-five dollars.”

“I’ll pay twenty-five seventy-two. No more.”

“I can’t sell you a subscription for that price sir.”

Kurt pounded his fist on the table. “Give me your manager!” he yelled into the phone.

“Sir, please don’t yell at me. I’m simply telling you what my – ”

“Manager! Now!” he barked.

“Calm down please, sir.”

“Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down, I want to speak with your manager right now you little peon! Transfer me immediately.”

“One moment please.”

The line switched to easy-listening music. As Kurt waited, he grinned, knowing he had won. He started to dance a little to Girl from Ipanema. As the song came to a close, Kenny G came on, and Kurt smiled; another great one, he thought. He continued to dance through the next several songs, enjoying this little interlude in his day.


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