Panic in the Bathroom

Mario stared at the mirror, trying not to panic.

It was just a little bit of hair, he thought. I only moved one sideburn up a little. No problem. I can just balance it on the other side.

Taking his razor, he tried to find the same point on his left cheek. He hovered the razor over the hairs for a moment, then lowered it to the skin, pulling down. The hair came away, sliced off. He ran the razor under water, then looked at himself again.

The left side was now higher than the right. Dammit, he thought. He brought the razor up to the right side and tried to find the right point. Again, he cut. Now the right was higher.

Back and forth, Mario went, first the left, then the right, then the left, then the right. Finally, he reached the top of his ear on the left side. With a marker to signify, he cut the right side off at the same point.

His sideburns were gone, but his hair was even again. He rinsed the razor, then got to work cleaning up his beard, trying to make it look normal without the attaching sides.


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