“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It’s about twenty-three hundred hours back on earth – that’s eleven o’clock, for those who haven’t learned from the past two weeks of us saying so – and it’s time for us to dim the cabin lights. We hope you’ve all made your way to your seats safely.
“We’re now approximately one thirteenth of the way to Mars, and if you look out the windows on the port- that’s left – side, you can see the vast expanse of the void of space, staring back at you. Two weeks in and no hull breaches yet, so I guess they did a pretty decent job on the W.S.S. Low Prices, ha ha.
“As usual, if you have any concerns, you’re welcome to come to the cabin door and buzz through to us. For security reasons, of course, we can’t open the door, by your copilot and I are here and ready to take any questions via the video screen.
“As I said, the cabins lights are now dimming. If you want to stay up and watch a movie or two, you can, as usual, slide your card and scroll through our many options for just five ninety-nine, all night long. This service is provided to you by our partners at SpaceFilms, making the void a more tolerable place. Goodnight, everyone.”