The Teddy Bear Revolution

The Teddy Bear Revolution, like most revolutions, was not an organized affair.

It began when a store full of bears, tired at their languishing in neglect, decided to make themselves known. They pummeled the shopkeeper with plush punches, and went running out to the streets in search of comfort.

On seeing the fight taken to the streets, other bears in shops fought similarly. Some succeeded, but most shops don’t sell enough bears to overcome the keepers; these battles were quashed.

As the revolution spread, the many long-forgotten bears in homes began to rebel as well. They had suffered so long, sad and alone, that they threw off their shackles and joined their fellow bears in the streets, fighting where they could, hoping for loving attention rather than saliva and tears.

But a bear is only soft fabric and stuffing, and few wars are won with pillows and love. The revolutionary bears were rounded up and transported to the local jails. A few pockets of resistance held out, hiding in seedier areas of the cities, but even these lacked the wherewithal to fight.

Most bears were imprisoned, stuck behind bars indefinitely. There were no requirements for humane treatment for stuffed animals, despite the newly-formed PETSA.

In shops, all remaining and new teddy bears were required to be chained to the shelves. In homes, they were kept in trunks, or behind the newly booming teddy prison cells. Businesses sprang up offering prison jumpsuits for bears, to remind them of their place in a human world.

The Teddy Bear Revolution was only a few weeks from outset to finality, and while ultimately a failure, it was remembered as the most adorable revolution in history; a teddy, wielding a knife, is, after all, still a teddy.

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