Get Rich Quick

“Ernie! I’ve got it! A get-rich quick scheme to end all get-rich quick schemes!” Amos stood up from his desk and ran to Ernie’s office room.

Ernie looked up from his laptop, adjusted his glasses, and peered at Ernie’s young face: the face of a twenty year-old in a thirty year-old’s body.

“Okay, why do we need to get rich quick, and what’s the scheme?”

“So we can take a vacation somewhere exotic next time! And the scheme is this: a garage sale, but with stuff entirely for left-handers.”

Amos pursed his lips. “Really? That’ll make us rich quickly?”

“Yes. We advertise it as that. We collect things entirely for lefties. Then sell them at a profit.”

“So an actual store, you mean?”

“No, just a garage sale!”

“Uh huh.” Amos closed his computer and took his glasses off. “First, we need to find enough stuff dedicated to lefties, at a cheap price. Then we need to do the marketing for this garage sale. And how many lefties do you think there are around here?”

“Yeah, and how many southpaw-specific yard sales are there? None, that’s how many. So we get a few things left-specific, and a bunch of other stuff that’s ambidextrous or whatever, and advertise a lefties-only garage sale!”

“But again, there aren’t that many left handers! They’re only, like, ten percent of the population.”

“And we’re in a city of, what, six million?”

“Seven million.”

“Seven million people, so ten percent of that is?”

“Seventy thousand, I think?”

“That’s seventy thousand potential customers. It’ll work, just you wait and see.”

Amos sighed and brought his hands to face, rubbing it. When he finished, he pulled his hands away and said, “All right, if you want, we can try it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you that this is a silly idea.”

“Silly, yes,” Ernie said, grinning. “But better than my pyramid scheme of pyramid schemes.”

“You’re right, that one was the worst. Well, go start organizing it then.”

Ernie ran off to his desk to start searching for cheap left-handed goods.


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