Picnic in the Park

“Can I interest you in a picnic?” Ryan said.

“Hmm. It depends, what’s involved?” said Mose, glancing up from his computer. His beard held crumbs from his toast at breakfast, and his shirt was stained and full of holes.

Ryan, impeccably dressed and hair coiffed, raised an eyebrow. “A shower, first. Then we take some bread and food stuffs to the park, sit on the grass, and enjoy our lunch there.”

“Hm. What sort of food?”

“Well, bread, as I said. Some cheese.” Ryan looked at Mose, gauging his reaction. When nothing registered on the face still staring at the screen, he continued. “Lettuce, tomato, some cold cuts. Maybe mustard?”

“Ugh.”

“Okay, how about mayo?”

“Better.”

“And some juice to drink.”

“Can you make it beer?”

“I can, though I think technically we’re not supposed to do that.”

“Technically shmechnically.”

“Alright, beer then.”

“And no shower.”

“Well, that’s kind of a requirement here. You can’t go out looking like that, Mose.”

“And why not?”

“Because you look like a slob! You have dinner from the past two nights on your shirt, your beard is a mess, and you’re starting to smell!”

“Yeah, well. If you can’t take me at my worst, then, you know, whatever.”

“Mose, come on, let’s get cleaned up and go out for lunch at the park. Then we can come back, and you can not clean yourself for another week.”

“No thanks. I’ll stay here.”

“Fine, I’m going anyway. I’ll have a picnic on my own.”

“K. Can you make me something before you go?”

“Not a chance.”

“Huh. Whatever.”

Ryan grabbed the picnic bag from the kitchen, then slammed the door on his way out. Mose kept staring at his screen, reaching over every few minutes to the bag of chips beside him.

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