Artistic Adornment

It is seldom advisable to base home décor decisions on modern art.

While Marion’s house included a Pollock room and a Kandinsky room, both of which were hits with her guests, the curtains of paperclips between each chamber proved more of a nuisance than an interest.

As she guided her dinner guests on a tour of her pretentious abode, Lacey was the first victim. Being the last one moving from the Duchamp room (which included a functional urinal in the center of the space, which Marion insisted every guest make use of) to the Serrano room (adorned with crucifixes and a hostile orange-red lighting), Lacey managed to dislodge three of the paper clip chains, causing them to hook into her hair. The next five minutes were spent with the guests dislodging them, at the expense of Lacey’s pre-dinner salon.

The second victim, Alan, turned to say something to placate Lacey’s stewing anger as they moved into the Warhol room (walled entirely with unopened cans of soup). As he turned back to her while walking through the curtain, he was poked in the eye by a crooked clip. He held his hand over his eye for the rest of the tour, now muttering with Lacey about the nuisance.

The worst injury of the tour, though, was Whitney’s. As they moved from room to room, Marion gave no credit to the artist who had both inspired, and created, her paperclip curtains; namely, Whitney. Lacking any recognition at the conclusion of the tour and prior to dinner, Whitney left without a word to begin preparing her next piece, an acerbic denouncement of affluence that she would sell for several hundred thousand dollars.

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