Bill’s Daughter

Bill and Vance sat in their canoe, staring in opposing directions.

Their fishing trip had taken a noticeable turn for the worse when Vance had expressed his desire for Bill’s daughter – now a woman of legal age, certainly – but someone whom Vance himself had helped to raise.

Corrine was 22, recently graduated from University, and very attractive. Bill and his partner, Ken, hadn’t known when they adopted her that she would be quite so stunning, and couldn’t help but feel proud as their youthful duckling turned into an adult fox.

Now, while out with his friend Vance on their yearly fishing trip (something Ken, and avowed vegetarian, despised), Bill had failed to notice the turn in conversation until Vance said, “Your daughter is totally bang-able.”

There are many ways in which a father could respond to such a comment. Were Bill a straight man in his twenties, he might even have agreed, had Corrine not also been his daughter. Were Bill a more violent man, Vance might not have survived the trip.

After sitting in total silence for nearly two hours, their lines in the water, Vance broke the tension. “Hey Bill?”


“Sorry. I just meant she’s attractive. Not that I actually would. You know.”


Another hour after that exchange, in which most was forgiven, Bill said, “Hey Vance?”


“Don’t talk about anyone that way. Kinda shitty.”

“I know, Bill. Sorry.”

With that, Bill received a bite on his line. The fish was a healthy size, and would make an excellent dinner. Vance handed him a beer, and they drank.


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